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Coexisting with the families we create.

Coexisting with the families we create.

My summary from the sharing session held Meena Waghray, Mediation Skills Trainer at OutOfCourt.In on the topic “Conflict Resolution at Home.”

1. It is important to express the acknowledgement upfront. When your family members speak to you, always respond, something like … “I heard you..” .. “Ah so you feel …”, “Oh, so you did … this today ..?”

2. Living with elders? Generation gaps? Then demonstrating politeness would be a good starting step to earn a listening ear any further discussion. Politeness will be the key to the ear for the intergenerational conflicts at home.

3. How parents “have” to emerge as mediators at home. Oftentimes, there is more effort on one side ie. the parents’ side to emerge as mediators between other family members who tend to get into conflicts.

4. Let everyone Disagree! The creation of comfortable space for family members in the same conflict to disagree on the same conflict story they share, will only lead the family members to resolve.

5. “One should know how to temporarily eject from the family space without making a scene. This helps in cooling off the angry moment.”

6. What if the family members are not wanting to meet eye-to-eye! then? Then, it is time for the family to take the decision of bringing in a neutral person – MEDIATOR – to just-be-there as the family members proceed to resolve.

7. One family member must try to respect the space of the other family member , not matter minor or major – to cultivate the practice of freedom in letting everyone decide their own right answers.

8. That it could be very very hard for the deep scars from conflicts with family members to vanish, but all about it – is also learnable.

9. Welcome the clash of interests between family members – which rather makes the situation a growing space for the other new point of views – for everyone to then apply the same to arrive at a solution.

10. How a professional family mediator can help family members in conflict see new and many options of solutions! This only encourages the family members to open their mind space to think again of their options. Presence of a professional mediator opens new door of possibilities for the family to consider.

11. A question to reflect upon: Difference between Empathy and Sympathy, stepping into somebody’s shoes or feeling sad for somebody? What would be your choice?

Are you a Conflict Coach or a Family Mediator? Your opinions matter. Email us your opinions. 🙂

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